It was recently brought to my attention that this is not necessarily very standard practice, but I keep my email very tidy. All the messages in my inbox have been read. All the spam is deleted daily. Apparently not everyone does this, but I can't imagine I'm in a huge minority (am I?). At any rate, it's had one immensely positive benefit. I always read my spam subject lines before deleting them, as every once in a cerulean moon something worthwhile from someone I like ends up there. Most of the time, however, I get spam about where to buy prescription drugs, and how to enhance the size of my penis. (And may I take a moment to say how touched I am that so many people are concerned about the size of my penis. Thank you.) But at some point last spring that changed, and the subject headings went off in what I can only describe as increasingly bizarre and at times mysteriously Lewis Carrolian directions. I offer you here a sampling in chronological order from May to present:
Euro emo mass suicide
Turn from sparrow to eagle
Hitler's son found!
See her instantly geeked!
Use mind to improve your fang
They whistled and warbled a moony song
O lovely Pussy! Oh Pussu, my love
And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
and put the bun on the window sill to cool
Said the Yongy-Bonghy-Bo
The Pobble swam fast and well
Hello, deepshit!
Infection in our cinema
pragmatistho
Give squish mittens DUE attention
They gayest gay ever
Who had a little curl
Close by the king's castle lay a great dark
It is no giant but a disgusting frog
Sensation. Hitler was a woman!
How the silly frog does talk!
The old man said, Old woman, bake me a bun!
Dude, your snake sucks!
I find the recurring themes particularly amusing.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
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