it's so nice

when someone comes along and reminds me I'm not the only one:

"I am actually almost completely anti-wedding and not so keen on the 'institution' of marriage either. I did get married, at City Hall no less, and I only got married because my then-boyfriend kept asking me and I thought it would be easier to get a mortgage if we were married, but I was perfectly happy and fully committed just living with him (I am still perfectly happy and fully committed). What I hate about weddings is the patriarchalism. I hate the surprise proposal. Why does the man get to decide when the couple marries? Shouldn't marriage be something that both adults discuss together? I hate the getting down on one knee. The idea that it is the woman who has to be wooed and it is the man's responsibility to do so. I hate the engagement ring. Aside from the fact that buying diamonds supports an evil, destructive 'business,' I hate the idea that the woman needs to be 'bought' with a diamond and that putting a diamond on her finger suggests some sort of ownership on the man's part. I hate that the father walks the bride down the  aisle and 'gives her away.' I find the whole thing to be sexist pageantry and a needless expense. I hate the conformity of the whole thing. I think the best reason to get married is if you are gay. Then it really means something valuable."

                 – Ellen Tarlin on Slate.com's DoubleX, a project with which I do not always find myself in such perfect sympathy as I did upon reading this (full discussion on weddings here)